


Secrets

by Namesake_Demuel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, BAMF Charlie, BAMF Dean, BAMF Sam, M/M, Multi, Super!Dean, canonical violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 16:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namesake_Demuel/pseuds/Namesake_Demuel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has many secrets, things he never talks about. The usual I never slept with that many people, yes I am Bisexual and yes I am in love with my brother. But hey its not like he knows where God is and is hiding super powers or anything like. Why would you think that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The boys and company belong to the CW, I make no earnings and stake no claims. Sadly. If they were mine...Well somethings aren't made for public television
> 
> So I have been reworking the story and will have a new chapter up soon. Thanks for staying with me guys.
> 
>  
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I added some things, just some more info, got rid of some things that will be happening in later chapters of course and still working on few more changes but so far I like it. Expect major changes once I edit chapter two.  
> Enjoy

Sam Winchester knew he was different. He was taller than almost everyone he had ever met, he still sometimes got carded at clubs and bars by those brave bouncers who were undeterred by his size. And the two most import ones, he had demon blood in him and he was helplessly hopelessly in love and lust with his brother. Who had all but raised him and had recently died for him went to hell and came back with an angel who he may have a crush on. But none of that mattered right now as his brother, Dean Winchester in all his glory just stepped out of the bathroom from a shower hair still damp and in nothing but a towel. He was going to hell, a smirk in his direction and yeah he was okay with that.

 So yeah he was admitting to being a sick perverted bastard, but he couldn’t exactly stop his mind from torturing his body with thoughts and images of short blonde hair, pink kissable lips and eyes the color of emeralds.  That those eyes and mouth were attached to his brother, his straight as an arrow, slightly gay phobic, gun toting monster hunting older brother, wasn’t lost on him.  Not one damn bit, it just made it that much easier to resist the temptation to pin him against the wall and fuck him blind and that much harder not to wrap himself around him when they had to share a bed.

If he watched the water droplets that rolled down his cheek, his throat, work their way down the expanse of golden skin covering his chest and ripple along the ridges of his abs with a longing he has never had before in his life; that every time the cock teasing idiot drops his towel and bends over to pull on his jeans sans underwear, taunting him with the sight of the best ass on the face of the planet and the knowledge that just beneath that worn- comfortable pair of jeans that fit way too snugly in all the wrong place for him to be able to keep his sanity, is nothing but warm smooth skin between the scars and muscle and flesh that he wants to attack with fingers and lips, teeth and tongue, well that’s just how he has spent the last decade or so of his life since puberty.  He just thanked whichever deity or whatever that his brother was not a mind reader or he might wake up in the hospital sans very important body parts. 

One way ticket to hell here I come.

  

Dean Winchester had been sure when he was younger that he was normal, everybody could read at one year old right? Everyone spoke English Spanish French Gaelic and German fluently by three right? Everyone could make their toys fly and talk and could have conversations with their mom’s in their mind right?

No. Just him and his mom made sure that he knew not to let anyone know how special he was, that’s why when he told his mom that his soul mate was in her belly and that his other soul mate was in the sky with shiny black wings she just smiled and told him a story about how a man with yellow eyes tricked people into dying. When he was four and Sammy was six months old, the yellow eyed man came and took his mom, but he knew they would be okay, him and Sammy could face the world, Fate and demons be damned.  Too bad Dad was a meanie.

 Dean knew he was a cruel man, he knew his brother wanted him and he should at least try to be a decent human being and cover himself up, but he loved the feel of Sam’s eyes on him, the thoughts that ran through his head.  He’ll never be able to look at a motel wall the same again, and damn it if he wasn’t hard enough to almost come from the feel of the towel around his waist.  Well this mean no briefs, again, because that would just be too much stimulation.  He almost wished he didn’t have to keep his distance from the one of the only people he loved this much.  But it was better this way, even if hearing Sam’s thoughts, feeling his lust, damn near drives him to his knees.

 “So we have a case or what Sammy?” he smirked pulling his t-shirt over his head and pretending not to hear the bitten off moan that accompanies it. He had been to hell already, lovely place, the service left a lot to be desired but the owner sure was a looker, and had way too many daddy issues but don’t they all.

 “Yeah.” Sam swallowed and tried to redirect blood flow to his brain, but the image of Dean, jeans unbuttoned barely hanging on to his hips, and head hidden in his shirt displaying acres of golden skin and muscles stretched in a gentle bow was burned into his retina. Oh God.  Case, the case. Think with your fucking head Sam Winchester and not your painfully hard cock.

 “Vengeful spirit, turns out nineteen people have died in a motel in the last two years, all of them male and pretty.” He stumbled over that because if the ghost was looking for pretty men, Dean was in so much trouble. Fucking pouty pink kissable lips and lashes too lush to actually be real but are.  “According to the witness reports.” He rambled trying to think anything but exactly how perfect Dean’s mouth was.

 “Sweet. Let’s do it then huh?” Dean flashed dimples and was out the door before Sam’s brain could fully melt.

“Coming soon Babyboy?” And there goes the working brain cells he had left. Stupid sinful voice and did he have to call him _that_? Breathing deeply he moved from the desk that had been hiding his erection and arranged his too long shirts to hide the bulge before making his way painfully to the Impala and what would be hours of torture of the so close but don’t touch variety.

 

And then what should have been a simple salt and burn turned into a run in with a very spirited but little known goddess with a thing for secrets.

 

Dean Winchester has kept many secrets from the people who know him and those who have met him.  But seeing as those that he cares about, Bobby, the man who was his father in all but blood who had been there to try and find a kid who had been missing for a week that they had managed to free like the heroes they were. Sammy his dear sweet Sammy who would probably kick his ass to kingdom come if he doesn’t get this bitch to shut the fuck up. And Castiel, his own personal guardian angel who had rushed in trying to save them after what was probably a quick and desperate prayer from either Bobby or Sam, were tied up or in Castiel’s case trapped by holy fire facing him on the alter the crazy assed… Damned fine ass too if she weren’t trying to kill them or whatever the hell she planned to do to them he would have been all over that.

 “So Dean Winchester, I see you have a thing for keeping your mouth shut.” She smiled running her hands lovingly through his hair. He heard Sam and Bobby snicker from five feet away.

 “Keeping his mouth shut is the only problem he doesn’t have.” Sam snorted grinning like the damn fool he was playing right into her hands.

 “Do you want me to spill the secret you’re keeping from brother dearest Samuel? The reason for the _nightmares_ all that moaning and sweating?” her voice was a low and sweet as it came out of the petite red head belying the icy glare she sent his way.  Sam snapped his mouth shut and turned away, but even in the semi-darkness of the old theater they could see the blush burning its way up his neck and into his face.

Dean wished it wasn’t so damned easy to get a read on Sammy’s face, but ever since he realized he could read everyone’s mind and not just his mom’s mind when he was barely three he made sure that he tried his hardest to keep the pathway into the mind of the people he was closest to as good as closed. But some people just thought way too loud and he never really could keep Sammy out, not that he had wanted to, except for those times when Sammy had realized he wanted Dean. That he could have gone without knowing or having a front row seat to the fantasies, he had kept two feet between them that first summer when Sam was fourteen. He hadn’t wanted his control to snap and attack him. But Sam had run away halfway through because he thought Dean knew and hated him.  Hate right. He had been seconds away from defiling his baby brother when he had stormed out of the motel. Jerking off mindlessly in the Impala as soon as he had found somewhere secluded to park. Sam had been thinking of sucking him, he could not be blamed for his reaction.

He could open the connections to everyone yes, but he would never want to invade their privacy like that or how awkward it was answering questions before it was asked and knowing exactly what the waitress in the diner had wanted to do to Bobby not to mention the bitch of a migraine it causes. But he didn’t have to with Sammy, his beautiful Sam had the most expressive face ever if you looked close enough, and he was always looking, watching.

 “Now, now Dean, how about we start with a simple one, hmm?”  She smiled and sat in his lap. And okay he lied; he did not want anything to do with this conniving bitch.

“Like the fact that you have been letting everyone believe you dropped out of high school when you were sixteen when truth and in fact you had skipped half the grade levels and was on your third ABD in what was it that time Bio-Chemical Engineering? I mean how do you continuously lie to everyone and let them think Sam is smarter than you? I mean don’t you have four patents pending with three international companies?”  He heard the weight of the silence and felt the eyes boring into him, but he refused to meet them. Okay so maybe he was a bit smarter than people thought, he didn’t exactly go around acting like a block head or saying he was dumb, people just assumed because of the country accent and the pretty face and yes he acknowledges that he was pretty hard not to when both men and women constantly scream it at him in their minds. Good thing she missed the whole hacker thing, speaking of which, he needed to get back to Charlie with the new infiltrator programme he was touching up, god knows she probably needs it, that girl gets herself into the strangest kind of trouble but he can’t judge what with the goddess in his lap and all.

 “What the fuck Dean?!” This from Sam who when he finally met his gaze was furious in an ‘I can’t believe you are such a jerk’ kind of way, that was to be expected. Sam had always been the brains and him the brawn, that’s how it had been, and that’s how Sam had defined the status quo, as he believed no one with any significant brain power would want to be a hunter much less keep hunting.  The fact that he was and he did just didn’t compute. He just hopes Sam will realize he had downplayed his intellect to stay with him.

 Bobby was just tight lipped probably waiting to slap him stupid for not helping with all the translating he had been doing.  Cas was as stony faced as ever.  But Cas already knew, ever since his angel had mojo’d his ass out of hell, a whole thirteen minutes behind the rough schedule he had of the whole being the Righteous Man thing that the other douche Angels had going. But oh well, no harm no foul.

 Bobby wanted to kick himself Mary had tried to tell him about Dean but he wasn’t really listening, but who could blame him? What with her saying her one year old son told her with their shared telepathy that when he takes the deal for Sam, not to go bonkers, cause he would need to get ready with lots of holy oil for the prissy Angels who will come knocking? Oh yeah, break out the whiskey.

 “You think that’s bad?” The red headed bitch squealed wriggling in his lap.

“Tell them about those women you supposedly picked up over the years. He didn’t sleep with half of them. Heck he didn’t sleep with a third. He spent hours listening to their problems, mending broken hearts and helping with self esteem issues, I mean the psychology major he did in only seven months. What was it your professor said? Something about how he has never had a student do what you did… You’re a genius et cetera.”  Of course she brought that up, thank you, you overused cunt. He wanted to punch her face in.  Those women were none of her business, so what if he never really slept around? How is that a bad thing? He could count his sexual partners on one hand and still have fingers left over. Big deal.

She grinned down at him and stroked his jaw, feeling all sorts of satisfied at causing a rift between loved ones. She loved her job.

“Did I forget anything my beautiful Dean?” she smiled coyly.

  “Sí, estic d'telequinesis per a vostè patètica excusa per a una deessa cremar al purgatori.” He snarled and stabbed her through the heart with Ruby’s knife, and watched her eyes glow white as steam poured from of her body, he hope she got reincarnated as a flea because hell knows how hard it would have been to kill a _cockroach_. Shaking the cut ropes from his arms he quickly went about getting the others free while studiously ignoring their eyes. He could do without the accusations and disappointment for a few more minutes, thank you very much.

“Is there something else you want to tell us Dean?” Well there was Sam’s bitchface and cue the sob story and heart to heart before Sam rages and takes off again. Not.

 What were they expecting him to do? Just spill everything like he was some sort of prepubescent girl talking to her diary? Hey guys sorry I forgot to tell you that I’m telekinetic, hydrokinetic, telepathic oh and just for shits and giggles I can use tiny amounts of psychokinetic energy to create objects and animals if I try? Let’s not forget that I’m an empath, nothing like feeling other people’s emotions when all I wanted was a six pack and pie and got PMS and a side of I want to kill myself. He had talked the guy out of it of course but no one really needs to get into that.

 “Not that I can think of. So who’s up for victory pie and never bringing this up again?” He flashed his usual grin and headed for the Impala, hoping they would take the hint that he was not going to talk about it because he knew what was going to happen now.

Sam was going hate him and leave, not that he would stay gone for long, but he would give it his best shot and since Stanford and Jesse, it might be much longer than four years this time. Thank you very much Chuck and he felt a poke to his ribs he had noticed every time he reminded Chuck that he knew he was God, and sent a slap to the head before blanking their connection. He has God on speed dial oh woe is him.

 

That had been two weeks ago and after Bobby called him every name in the book and a few he made up, then slapped him upside the head walked away muttering about idjits. Sam had yet to say one word to him and Cas had taken off in a flutter of wings, eyes pretty much demanding that he tell them the truth sooner rather than later.

Twelve days of Sam’s mind alternating between fury, self-loathing and hurt. Twelve days of Sam reliving every conversation every hunt every minute of their lives.  The silence was driving him up the wall.

Cursing under his breath he grabbed the keys to baby and headed out, maybe a drive to the nearest bar and a bottle of whiskey will help. If not there is always the library and if that doesn’t work well, time to pay a visit to his maker.

 

Sam knew he was being unfair but fuck it, Dean was a fucking jerk. He didn’t even bother looking up when he heard the door close and the rumble of the Impala’s engine.  He always wondered how Dean could fix damn near anything that was broken or how he rigged that mini air conditioner in one of those ratty motels dad left them in the middle of the hottest summer on record. Dean was a fucking genius; the stupid bitch goddess hadn’t been lying. Sam had hacked into the nation’s school records and found Dean’s grades from everywhere. Teachers kept commenting on how absolutely brilliant he was, how polite etc. And he didn’t just get into any college, he got into M.I.T. Yale, and Browns. All of them.  He did them all at once too via the internet, only showing up if there was an exam that had a practical aspect.  Colleges didn’t even do stuff like that back then, so the fact that they went above and beyond just to get him to accept was crazy.  And Sam had been ecstatic about getting into Stanford not that it wasn’t a great school but shit, he wasn’t even a blip on Dean’s radar. Bio-Chemical Engineering, Psychology, Computer Science, Linguistics hell he’d even done Art-History and Literature.  Although the Criminology made sense now that he thought about it, Dean had always seemed a bit too informed when they had to play FBI or cops. The Impala’s engine rumbled in the distance. Just an hour, guess Dean hadn’t found what he was looking for.

 

The lights were still on which meant a few more hours of being treated like the invisible man.  Well fuck Sam and his damn issues. Time to have one of those dreaded chick flick moments. He had driven to the nearest bar and had just one shot of whiskey before it had gone still and Chuck showed up told him to suck it up and have the chick flick moment they both needed or every pie he ate would taste like eggplant. He hates eggplant.  So here he was at the door trying to not just read Sam and get it all but to be a man and talk.  Chuck would be so proud and a finger to the ribs. Real funny.  Taking a deep breath he walked in and prepared to be hit, and he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catalan:Sí, estic d'telequinesis per a vostè patètica excusa per a una deessa cremar al purgatori  
> English :Yeah I'm telekinetic too you pathetic excuse for a goddess burn in purgutory  
> because Dean deserves to swear in many languages and this one is just hot.


	2. Coming Out...Secrets That Is

“You let me hit you.” Sam was wiping the blood from his knuckles with one of the damp paper towels he had wet in the bathroom. His skin was torn up a bit but most of the blood was from Dean’s split lip.

“Thought you might need to get some of that out of your system first.” Dean mumbled behind the napkin. It didn’t really hurt, well the fist to the face had stung but the blank look on Sam’s face felt like a rusty knife to the stomach, and he hates that he knows how that feels literally. Sam had his back to him but he could live with that. The view was awesome, his tight round ass, after all the hours the Sasquatch spent running at least it was good for something and those shoulders and the muscles in his back. Focus Dean, he chided himself, talking nothing else and the truth, all of it. Or Chuck would probably spend the next week making Dean miserable. Eggplant. Ew. So maybe opening the connection a bit would help.

 

“Sam we need to talk.”

 _Why did he have to sound so fucking good?_ _His_ _voice sounded fucked raw, which meant he had_ _probably been drinking._

Sam’s thoughts blared at him. He took a closer look on the path labeled Sam and found lust stirring. Just what he need a horny Sam thinking of sweaty fucking to distract him. Well distract him more than usual anyway. Stupid idiot just had to be perfect.

 

“Yeah Dean we really do.” Swinging the chair next to the door Dean straddled it and settled down for the questions he could see coming, even through the haze of _‘Why did he have to straddle the fucking chair and why the hell are those jeans looking so damn fucking edible?’_ running through Sammy’s head. Which was not helping him focus at all. He almost missed the slow drag of Sam’s eyes across his thighs before they crashed to a stop on his crotch. And he wished e had missed the swipe of a pink tongue flashing along lips he wanted to devour and own. His jeans cut into his rapidly filling cock and he decided that next time he was in hell, cause there is no way that is not where he was headed, he’s going to tell Luc that he wanted the room next to his.

 

“So…. You’re a genius.” Sam breathed. _He was trying not to focus on the play of muscles in Dean’s thighs, which he was failing at. Fuck he wanted to have those thighs wrapped around him, that cock in him, mouth or ass he wasn’t picky. Maybe even get to be inside De… And yep, he needs to cut that thought or he would not be able to think for much longer, never mind talking._

 

“Yeah.” Having this talk was going to be harder than he had thought, and not just because Sam was thinking hot sweaty hard, oh fuck…. Sam please stop thinking like that please **_please_** … Breathe…. Thank you Chuck. Not just because Sam was lusting, but because now his brother would know just what kind of freak he was.  And then he would leave, he always leaves.

 

“Were you planning on telling me?” The pain in Sam’s voice was glaring at him, and he couldn’t stop the last few thoughts from hitting him, harder than the punch had. More painful too. _Don’t you trust me? Well not since hell because of that bitch Ruby, but before that...Okay maybe not the Stanford and Jesse era but… Oh God I never gave you a reason to trust me did I? You practically raised me, always had time for me even when I was being a clingy whiny angst filled teenager. And I just left you with John. I’m so fucking sorry Dean._

 

“I was kinda hoping no one would ever find out.” He answered truthfully and waited for what he knew was coming. Either one hell of a blow up and then they would both pretend it had never happened or silence and he would wake up in the morning and Sam would be gone.

 

“I don’t blame you.” Sam muttered only to almost fall over when a familiar tan trench-coat popped right in front his face.

 

“Hello Dean, Sam. We must leave now.” And with that they were dry heaving in Bobby’s Panic Room.  Well Sam was dry heaving Dean just looked a bit dazed. Traveling with Cas always felt like a rollercoaster going one hundred and ten miles an hour.

"The hell, you idjits can’t just pop in on an old man you know.” Bobby muttered pouring himself a generous shot of whiskey, downing it and pouring again.

 

“Sorry Bobby but Cas didn’t give us much of a choice.” Sam managed, dropping into the chair next to him and reaching for a glass of his own, after what Dean and told him and the thoughts whirling around in his head, he need a drink or a bottle.

 

“This needs to happen; Dean has to tell both of you, now before everything really falls apart. And you need to listen.” With another flutter of wings, Cas was gone, but they heard his voice from outside the iron door.

“Quickly Dean.”

 

They watched Dean pace around the room. Twice. Then sit, get up and do it again.

“Dean.” Cas’ voice all but growled his name.

“Shut the hell up already. I’m trying to figure out where to start!” he yelled in enochian stunning even Cas with that little slip. Well fuck.

 

“Well the beginning would be a good point but we do not have fucking hours for that mountain of bullshit John caused now Dean, so just tell them the important bits and quickly.” And if either of them were shocked that the angel just swore like it was normal then nothing really prepared them for what was about to happen.

 

“So you speak enochian. Anything else you want to tell us Dean?” Sam had his epic bitch face in full force and Bobby… Bobby just looked tired and he didn’t know which one hurt more.

 

“Fine let’s get this over with then.” He watched Dean take a deep breath like he was trying to prepare himself to be punched in the gut.

“I’m smarter than the average genius, I speak enochian and seventeen other languages fluently, including Latin Sumerian and ancient Greek, I’m telekinetic and telepathic and a bunch of other stuff, I get premonitions of the future and I am stronger faster and prettier than the average low level demon. And no it’s not a cursed object or some witchy spell. Mom was the same way, it’s a Campbell family thing, and Sam has a few of them but didn’t hit the jack pot. And Bobby you knew all this because mom told you the day she died that you would have to be the father to us that John wasn’t going to be. And that’s it in a nutshell. Any questions?” he waited a beat

 “Good, Cas, get me the hell out of here now.”

 

Dean could hear Bobby’s mind, and tried not to flinch, or show how much it hit him that Bobby knew the truth about him and Sam. Goddamned old bastard was too fucking perceptive.

Bobby:

_….especially now that it seems Mary wasn’t just raving from the paint fumes about her little Dean. What you must have gone through trying to hide what you were from that bastard father of yours Dean. It’s my fault, tried to do right by you like your mom asked but John damn near made all the good I did mean nothing. Loved you like my own sons, still do. I can tell how much it hurts you Dean, how hard you fight to put on this brave face.  And Sammy, you would do anything for him, why you boys don’t see what you mean to each other is a damn case of stubbornness but soul-mates always find each other. And if you think I will stop you, you obviously don’t know everything about me._

_Damn Idjits._

 

And he didn’t want to read Sam, didn’t want to know what Sam was thinking, not now, not when he was going to be pulled-

 

“Hello Dean.” Ratty bathrobe, crooked glasses and a sad little smile, yep just what he knew would happen at least he had gotten to tell them what was really happening with him. It’s just a matter of how long it will take for this meeting to go.  Sighing in defeat because he knew it would take way too long for comfort Dean flopped into the couch that materialized behind him and waited with a self-depreciating smile.

“Hey Chuck should I keep acting like we both don’t know that you are God and doing this because you don’t want to go back home in public now? It’s starting to get really irritating when Cas gets so upset when another lead turns into a dead end. Or can we get the formality out of the way so that this whole end of the world thing can stop and I can get my mates?”

 

He sat in an overstuffed armchair with scratches all over the arms and legs, like a big kitty, probably part mountain lion went at it in a rage, and watched the fidgety little man who was had been almost as bad as John at being a father but at least he was trying. It wasn’t all his fault, after all his kids were all adults but man could they throw tantrums.

 

“Yes, let’s get to business shall we?”


	3. NOT a Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry

Sorry for the wait but the reason I didn't update is because the story-line needs a major overhaul.  Somehow it went way off course. So expect to see some chapter editing soon.  A few major changes will happen but don't worry, Dean will always save the day.

TTFN

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas are missing Dean and being hit by revelations at the same time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually a chapter this time, yay. Again I seriously doubt I can do long chapters but I'll try to average at least 1200 words

 

Nine days eighteen hours and fifty eight minutes. That’s how long Dean had been gone. Taken right infront of their eyes and no amount of searching could find him. Even Cas couldn’t locate him, and Sam Winchester was going out of his mind, because if the angel who was literally a single word away from his brother at all times couldn’t find him, well they were fucked. He paced from the library to the living room, bathroom to kitchen; he hadn’t slept for more than two hours each night. Castiel was quietly freaking out, not that Sam was supposed to know. But the frayed cuffs on his trench coat gave him away, that and the worsening bed hair, instead of a rough night sleeping it looked like the angel had spent two days in the middle of a drunk orgy. Not to mention how bloody jumpy he was, well they both were but a jumpy hunter who will stab or shoot was a lot less scary that an angel with smiting powers. At one point Sam had knocked over a book and the angel pulled his blade ready to attack, and he could only stare wide eyed as Cas visibly shook then relaxed.

He wondered if it was because of their so called profound bond, because he really didn’t want to think it was because like him the angel loved his brother. Because that would just be too damned sad. Then again there was all that staring and invasion of personal space that those two always did steps away from physically sharing clothes and always sharing air. That and how angry the other got whenever something happened, tinged with hurt and worry.  Like full blown panic attacks, almost coming to a fist fight and those hugs, clinging to each other swaying and practically having bruises from how tight they were.

Oh God! What if Dean was secretly in love with Castiel and was actually in a relationship with him? Wait.  Dean wasn’t supposed to love anyone who wasn’t him. But he wanted Dean to be happy didn’t he? But what if that meant that he had to watch Dean tell the world that he loved Cas and they … No, no way is that happening.

Though they would make a pretty hot couple, Dean’s gem green eyes and Cas’ electric blue, golden skin wrapped around pale…

What the hell was he thinking? Dean was his brother, which means he shouldn’t be so hurt at the thought of him being happy with someone, anyone. But to see him happy with a guy? That should be fine too, it’s just that he was completely in love with him, and the thought of him with anyone especially a man who wasn’t him felt like a werewolf to the heart, fast sharp and life threatening.  So why was he getting hard thinking about Cas, instead of trying to find his brother.

 

Castiel was not pleased. Not pleased at all. He could no longer feel the bond between himself and Dean Winchester. This meant that Dean no longer existed in this time or plane. But he could feel the other Deans in different dimensions and across time. So why was his Dean gone? Leaving an aching void that hurt more with every second that passed. And more importantly when had he started thinking of Dean as **_his_**? Then again he never had liked any of those people that got too close to Dean, especially those women or the men he had thoughts about, though he never actually acted on the impulse.  And he really never liked that Lisa woman or Cassie, but Dean had been happy and that was supposed to be enough. But it hadn’t been. He didn’t mind Sam that much though, he was always with Dean, and if not physically he was there in thought.  The two were as close as soul mates could be without actually consummating the relationship.  But that was only a matter of time now, one of them was bound to break through that wall they had put up to try and conceal their feelings, their need. So why did that thought make him feel so…  Sad? Was that what this emotion was? He looked up as Sam paced through the room again. Grief, anger fear and confusion oozed off him in a thick cloud.  His soul shone, a little tarnished in some spots but wholly beautiful none the less. He knew he and Sam had a bond too, not as strong as Dean’s but he had laid hands on Dean’s soul and pieced his body back together, which was as intimate as people could get, even more so than intercourse. Not that he would mind intercourse with either of the brothers, soul body or both. Wait **_wha_** t?

 

Castiel’s eyes seemed to be peering into his very soul. And that was even more unnerving because it might be true. Not that he really cared. Those eyes were mesmerizing. No wonder Dean had spent so much time with his gaze locked with the angel’s. And if it meant getting Dean back, his brother could spend the next eternity staring at the angel as long as he was here with them.  But why was he staring at Sam?

 

“I feel uneasy with Dean being gone Sam.” Okay points to the angel for not laughing when he jumped from the shock of the sound.

“Like there is a void in place of where he usually stands. Why can we not find him Sam? Has he not suffered enough? Have we not all suffered enough?” Mournful blue eyes stared at him silently pleading for answers.

He didn’t have them.

“I don’t know Cas but one thing is always certain. He will always come back. He doesn’t know how to stay away from the people he cares about.” Unless it was for their own safety. He went rigid.

Could Dean be keeping his distance to keep them safe? He would do anything to keep Cas or Sam safe, no contact for four years sell his soul go to hell the list goes on and on. He fell to his knees, the sound as hollow as he felt.  Dean may have left because he wanted them safe. Does that mean that they bring trouble into his life? Dean had been happy for a while with Lisa and with Cassie, Sam knew this, but the moment they meet up, Dean almost dies saving him then dies and literally went to hell for him.  Came back and is now fighting angels, demons and mercy knows what else so that they didn’t have to be a part of the apocalypse.  He wanted to scream, and rage. If Dean left to keep them safe he was going to find him and kick his ass.

 

Cas watched Sam fall, he couldn’t bring himself to read his mind, Dean referred to that as an ‘invasion of privacy’. But he can offer what little comfort he could give.  He strode to Sam’s still kneeling form and wrapped his arms around him.  He had seen the brothers do this often enough to be familiar with it. Had been on the receiving end enough times to know that, yes, it does make everything else feel better too.  Especially when Dean does it.

“Umm… Cas what are you doing?” Sam’s voice was muffled against his midsection, his breath was warm and his lips brushed the cotton of his shirt leaving an even more intense heat behind.

“I believe the term is ‘giving you a hug’. Is that not what you do when someone is in distress, especially one you care for?”

Did he just tell Sam he cared for him? He does, really but he never actually put words to it, he has a profound bond with Dean but that bond extends to Sam as well because of how tightly woven into each other’s fates they are.  But not only for that reason, Sam may have been born to be the vessel of Lucifer but he was a kind and gentle soul. He could not have been otherwise, for Lucifer had been the most beautiful and pure of them all, and then he changed. Because he remembered Lucifer pulling him close and hugging him as he cried when the older seraphs had said he was small. He was the youngest, only Samandriel younger but even he had been taller than him. Then they had been flying and he was laughing, next thing he knew Luc was raging and Michael threw him out and Gabriel ran away and Raphael was quiet and Naomi started conditioning everyone, Balthazar had died and Uriel became more of a bully. Sam was tainted as a child  against his will, but refused to give in to that darkness within him, he was tricked and lied to and finally used by those who were not able to see how brightly his soul shone even with its taint.

He looked down into those shocked eyes, and pulled him closer, wrapping his still invisible wings around the man kneeling before him, offering him comfort and finding hope.

Okay, Sam Winchester this is officially the strangest non- Dean related dream you have ever had. He stealthily pinched his thigh. Not dreaming. Then shit, it was really happening.  He was being hugged by Cas. Hugged by Castiel Angel of Thursday, while kneeling and having fore mentioned angel claiming to care for him. 

And he wasn’t moving. In fact, he didn’t feel the least inclined to ease his weight off his knees to pull away. He was perfectly content to stay there and let the beautiful angel hold him.  Then he decided he could move some, and wound his arms around the other man. Oh yeah, moving was a fabulous idea.  He could feel lean muscles and surprising heat. And even better, felt a fine tremor running under Cas’ skin. He wondered what it would feel like if this were happening skin to skin.

Bad thought Samuel bad. Maybe the shower, with the door locked and really loud music.  At least until you are not in the wholly platonic embrace of said person who happened to be an angel.  He was having dirty thoughts about an angel, someone shoot him now. But even that wasn’t really curbing his libido. Taking a deep breath he froze. Bloody fucking hell did the angel smell good, like all his favorite foods tempting him to put him mouth on him. Devour him. In love with his brother and in lust with his brother’s angel.

Well fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Chuck have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot less light hearted and flirty than the others, which given the fact that it deals with how bad a parent Chuck was and briefly touches on John Winchester as well it was to be expected. But fear not the next chapter will bring back the awkward hormones and witty banter with a side of angst.  
> Enjoy

Green eyes stared quietly into palest blue, like the edge of morning. The silence grew as the smaller man squirmed a bit in his seat but couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Damn it Winchester just choose already!”

Dean grinned leaning back into chair, quite pleased with himself. No one apart from Death himself of course had managed to unnerve God and here he was making Chuck fidget like a schoolboy in the principal’s office.

“You know what I’m going to say Chuck, so why are you so twitchy about it?” His smirk stretched even wider when he heard a defeated sigh from the man slumped across from him.

“Because I was hoping you would have changed your mind.”

And Dean blinked at that, not quite sure if e should be offended at the thought that he would back out or proud that Chuck knew he wouldn’t have.  Then again this _was_ God, so he’s going to go with proud.

“Thanks for giving me the time to tell them.” He knew Chuck could have taken him right after that bitch had let slip things she had no right to, but he also knew that him disappearing minutes after something like that would have caused panic and anger. Not that he wasn’t expecting at least some level of concern and pissed but he wouldn’t be hunted down and shot full of silver and holy water.

“No problem Dean, even if you left out a few details, which will of course bite you in the ass sooner or later but that is not why we need to have this sit down.” Again the sense of overwhelming resignation rolled of the dark haired man. Dean shifted and reached between them to take one of the bottles that were still fading into existence atop a glass topped table.

 “He is angry and hurting but he doesn’t hate you or even Michael at that.” He took a sip from the ice cold beer and raised an eyebrow at the label, not what he was expecting.

“Mostly he wants to know why he was left alone able to hear everything that happened but unable to say a word or help.” He couldn’t help but remember the metallic tang of blood as he had bit through his tongue in his rage, seeing the furious ball of pain that a once proud man had been reduced to.

“Had to listen to them call Gabriel a traitor when he left, even though he had been the one to tell his little brother to get away from the fight. He listened as Michael grew cold after his anger had faded, and eventually go silent. He heard every single one of Raphael’s and Uriel’s plans, as Naomi reconditioned the angels into warriors, unfeeling and completely in their control. How many died or pretended to die just to escape.” Dean watched Chuck curl in on himself just a little more with each revelation, maybe this will be enough, but he had to make sure.

 

“Did you know that Michael has spent the last few millennia trying to find you so that he could free his brother? Or that he spends an hour every day just talking to him hoping he can hear how sorry he was and beg for forgiveness. Or that Gabriel does the same thing but it’s mostly telling him about his pranks or the children he had adopted?” That was it, he knew it, Chuck had stilled so completely he had stopped all pretense at breathing.

 

“I’m a granddad?” It was hoarse and disbelieving, barely a whisper.

 “Yes.” The choked breath that he heard could only have been the pain of Chuck realizing just how much he had missed when he cut himself off. When he left his children and ignored their pleading to come home.

 “I just wanted them to know they had a choice, that they should be happy.”

 “And throwing out the son that decided he couldn’t even envision loving anyone more than he loved his family, was good idea? How exactly was that supposed to work?” The bottle in his hand shattered, breaking the silence between them.  He still remembered the anguish he had seen in Luc’s eyes when he remembered that day.

_“Hello Lucifer.” He couldn’t help being a bit smug, he had died and escaped the racks, Hell was in an uproar, Alistair hadn’t even gotten a chance to touch him. He smirked._

_“Hello Winchester. I would offer you refreshments but I haven’t been out shopping in a few millennia.”The voice was a soft tenor, smooth with a hint of a smile, which means he didn’t have to explain much._

_“Come on Luc, I thought after all this time you would at least try to call me Dean.”_

_“But you look so pretty when you’re irritated Winchester, why would I want you any other way?” And now he was blushingly grumbling about stupid angels and stubbornness._

_“I know you are trying to distract me Archangel and I know why.” The silence from the Cage would have unnerved lesser men and demons alike. Few angels would have stayed._

_“Then why do you insist on being here today of all days then_ Dean _?” Bitterness.  Pain._

_“Because no child should ever have to think that their father could possibly love anyone more than them, much less be punished for questioning why.” A flare of rage followed by weary understanding passed through his eyes._

_“Your father was an asshole Dean.”_

_“Yours wasn’t much better.”  And they both laughed at the unfairness of it all._

“I was just so angry.” Chuck knew he had not made the right choice, that maybe trying  to talk things through would have been a good option but that day had just been so upset that someone, anyone had found fault with his newest creation that he used the most extreme method he could think of that wouldn’t have left his son mortal or dead. He regretted it almost immediately which is why he had withdrawn. Then the nephilim showed up and he loved them but they had been hurting the humans, Uriel and Zachariah had refused to listen to Michael or even hear how he pleaded that they were probably all like this because of the human in them, the urge to defile and own. They wiped them out and Michael went silent, and he well he left, unable to bear the thought that his children would refuse to even accept humans or their own free will when it was so obvious to him.

 “Well it’s time to make amends don’t you think Chuck? Try being a father to them and less of a chess master. I bet most of them have never seen you up close, much less hugged you?”

 “I really am a terrible father.” A shaking hand rubbed over his tired face. Dean watched him unblinking.

 “Acknowledging it means that you are at least willing to change.” Bouncing out of the chair that quickly dissolved to nothing Dean strode over to Chuck and squatted in front of him.

“So which one of your ticked off kids do you want to tackle first the runaway, the sulky loner or the prisoner?” He watched gleefully as the man nervously twisted the belt of his robe knuckles white.

 “Or should I pick?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the lovely Lorelei2005 a chapter as promised my dear and fear not the next will follow by Saturday night


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Death by blush guaranteed to kill a Winchester copyrighted by Charlie'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After much love and support from a reader, and yes I mean you Lorelei2005, I decided to post this chapter early  
> Enjoy

Sam Winchester was very warm and felt amazing pressed against his front, and Castiel could feel a heat similar to the one he felt tugging at his grace whenever Dean caught him with a smile that said he was the center of his world. He was of course confused, he had thought that was the bond he had with Dean making his grace churn and his vessel react in the only way it could to such stimulus. Dean had tried to explain what it was but had excused himself from the room with a less graceful walk than he usually had; in fact it had seemed rather stiff and uncomfortable. But now he wondered if this was what Sam had called arousal after he had asked why Dean had left. Sam had said that when a male such as them became aroused that their body would ready itself to copulate by sending blood and a rush of heat to the genitalia causing it to darken in color and become rigidly erect. He had asked why his body would do that seeing as he had no need to copulate as he had no mate and Sam only looked at him skeptically before saying that it could just be that he found someone attractive enough to want to claim them as a mate. Because if it was he had reason to worry, he was already feeling…possessive when it came to Dean, so having the same urges in regards to his brother was unsettling.  And yet he still had his hands wrapped around Sam’s impressive shoulders, one actually straying into the dark hair fiddling with the silky strands. He felt a smile against his middle and pulled Sam even closer.

 

Bang!

Sam pulled back so suddenly he fell flat on his ass and Cas stumbled landing sprawled on top of him, legs either side of his hips and hands planted next to his head, keeping himself from crushing Sam’s face with his amazingly well sculpted chest that was on full display in the now stretched shirt.  Fighting back a whimper Sam looked up at the combat boots, faded jeans and Lord of the Rings t-shirt, to the shaggy red hair pale skin and crooked smile that stood in the now open door.

“Sorry. Was I interrupting something? Dean said I could come over today to check out the infiltrator programme he was working on for me. You two must be Cas and Sam right? I’m Charlie Bradbury; feel free to call me Charlie. If this is a bad time I can wait in the library, Dean showed me some wicked awesome books in there last time. I’d call his cell, but he isn’t picking up, he does that a lot. So yeah… um need help getting off the floor?”

 

To say they were shocked would be putting it mildly. When Dean spoke about Charlie, which was almost never. Just a “Hey going to grab some research stuff from Charlie be back in a few days.” Or “Charlie found a rogue vampire, going give lend a hand, see you later.” They were not prepared to be met with _her_ inside their home/bunker whatever the bloody hell you wanted to call it. Dean had found it when John had been missing and promptly forgot it again with the whole Sam being kidnapped, selling his soul and everything else that had happened; or at least he had said he forgot about it. He claimed it had been their grandfather’s base but he hadn’t believed it until he had looked up the names in the registry book. Men of Letters, hunters of the past, oh well at least they had somewhere to call home while fighting the Apocalypse.

They had still been staring at her. **_Her_**. Because apparently Charlie was a girl and Dean hadn’t mentioned that, then again he had never used pronouns when it came to Charlie. But that wasn’t the point, she was in their bunker, which meant that she had a key and she was looking down at them right this second and Dean was still missing, the fact that they had been expecting something completely different from the pixie with red hair that was currently staring down at them was not all that important.

Looking down at them.

 

Right Cas was on top of him and though it was a great feeling, it was, he was half hoping she would leave and he could keep the gorgeous angel on top of him for the next few hours, but that was not exactly appropriate for right now. Scrambling to their feet they edged away from each other. Sam fighting a blush and Cas just staring, head tilting like a confused puppy, which was really too adorable for words.

“Right. Umm… yeah, I’ve heard about you, nice to finally have a face to go with the name.” Sam extended a hand and was surprised with a hug. Okay second surprise hug of the day, and no one had just come back from the dead, hell or been kidnapped. That sobered him quickly. Remembering that they still didn’t know where Dean was or if he was okay. 

 

“Hello Charlie. Your soul is quite warm, I believe that it why Dean found you so easily, he always seems to be able to find compassionate souls such as yours even in these times.”

Okay, need to get the angel a How-To on things not to do when meeting someone for the first time. Nice to meet you, polite and accepted world wide. Complementing their soul, and yes he _could see_ them but really? That was a big no-no.

 

“Whoa Dean wasn’t kidding when he said his best friend was an angel.” She didn’t seem bothered at all by the whole angel-seeing-your-soul thing.

“And thanks for the compliment Cas. Though why he didn’t go into details about your hotness is beyond me. All vague with his ‘You can’t help but look at him and want’. And Sam, wow, he was very thorough when it came to you.  Right down to the tiniest of details even the beauty mark on your left hip.”  Which she was staring at and he just noticed that his shirt had ridden up and his jeans down showing skin he really needed to hide like right this second.

 

She was still talking but Sam didn’t hear a word, his face was going to burn off if he didn’t die from blood loss to the heart first. He looked over at Cas who had gone pale and wide eyed and she was still talking.  Death by blush guaranteed to kill a Winchester copyrighted by Charlie.

Suddenly he was backed against the wall, Castiel standing protectively in front of him, angel blade at the ready. 

“Cas?” He asked warily pulling Ruby’s knife.

“She is not human.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is in the works for next week, despair not for more cometh


	7. The Devil Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is out and only God knows why, well Him and Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't posted in a while and i have a good reason.  
> I broke my arm, and bruised a few ribs falling down the stairs, which led to hospitals and insanely overprotective relatives and friends.  
> They stole my tech and only gave it back yesterday, because I shouldn't work or not be completely bored out of my mind while on bed rest. So yeah.  
> Sorry for the wait  
> Enjoy

The last time he had been here was not all roses and bunnies, not that he liked roses all that much, but he did love bunnies, he dares anyone to look at a bunny and not think it one of the cutest things in ever, again not the point. There was no roses, or trees or anything resembling plant life which was a given, as there was no sunlight or sky for that matter. Just a strange slightly pinkish red glow the came from the everywhere at once, making the rocky ground they were walking on more treacherous as the shadows seemed to move, stalking them quietly rumbling disapproval at having unwelcome visitors.  The two weren’t speaking, they hadn’t said a word in hours, just walking in silence both thinking of what will happen when the reach their destination. It would only be another couple minutes at most to get there, they could have been at the doors in an instant but knowing that Chuck would need time to pull himself together and find a way to apologize, Dean had taken the long route, well slightly longer as he could have chosen one of the more serpentine paths to the Cage, one with legions of demons and hell hounds but this needed to be done and quickly.

 

“I’m not sure I can do this Dean, I know he doesn’t hate me, but I can’t help thinking that it would be better if he did.” Chuck’s voice was small scratchy like he had been drinking or crying his eyes out. Dean quite clearly ignored him and walked ahead, trying his best to pretend that the last time he was here, he had said goodbye to his brother and came to terms with what his father had done. Mostly. The shorter man waited a beat then followed, still mumbling under his breath that his children should hate him and rage, that he wouldn’t even fight back if they hit him, no healing, just take it like man.  He ran into Dean’s leather jacket covered back, biting his lip mid rant.

 

“Dean?”

“Shut up Chuck. You fucked up, they took the brunt of the fall out and luckily Luc doesn’t hate you, which he should, but I can’t point fingers about dysfunctional father son relationships. So man up and grow a pair.” Okay so maybe he hadn’t ignored everything Chuck had been grumbling about, but really? Trying to soothe his guilt with their anger. Fuck if he’s going to let that fly.

“I had so missed your delightful way with words, my dear, what brings you to my humble abode? Please tell me you haven’t gone and gotten yourself killed again Winchester or I will find a way to plant you over my knee and spank your outrageously gorgeous posterior.” Lucifer in all his caged glory scowled at him playfully.

“Now sweetheart, you know I missed you too but I have no intentions of dying anytime soon. I’m here to get you out so we can go yell at the dicks with wings running around upstairs.”Dean turned and pulled a silent Chuck from behind him and pushed him towards the glaringly white door that hung there in nothing that was the only way in or out of the cage.

“And I also found your Dad and hit him with some hard facts, so he’s going to let you out now.”

 

“Okay.” Lucifer was smiling as he stepped back from the door, one eyebrow raised as he waited, looking from Dean to the man who was supposedly his Father. He didn’t feel any of the grace normal associated with Him, it was almost as if a regular human stood there gaping at him as if he should be shocked. He glanced pointedly at the still locked door raising the eyebrow further.

“You know Luc, I find it so strange that you are a big ball of cosmic divine destructive energy and yet I can clearly see every expression on your face. Seriously dude if that eyebrow goes any higher it might fly off your face.” Apparently Dean did not like the stalling that was happening, well neither did he.

“If you would be so kind as to open the door Father?” A moment later with a quiet metallic click the door swung silently open, and with a deep breath, Lucifer stepped out. Stretching his wings fully before folding them into nothing the newly freed devil grinned impishly at Dean Winchester.

“Thank you for keeping your promise, my dear, now I shall keep mine.” One second he was a mass of pure grace, the next, sable colored hair fell into wine red eyes framed by thick lashes in a milky pale skin face. A straight nose, plush shell pink lips in a face that was altogether almost too beautiful to be called male. Almost. The broad shoulders tapering to slim hips and long lean legs were very obviously male, especially with how well tailored the suit he was wearing was. Quite the happy greeting for whoever got to unwrap him.

 “Well hello sweetheart, aren’t you looking stunning in Armani.” Dean whistled leering at him.

“But of course, how else would I look in a body I crated solely for me?” Another raised brow a silent answer to the unasked question. Dean slipped quietly into his mind, a familiar comfort when Dean had been hiding from the demon hordes searching for any trace of their misplaced soul of the Righteous Man.

 

**_You cannot ignore him forever Luc, you will have to talk this out at some point._ **

**_I know Dean, but I don’t think I can right now, if not for you being here I might have stayed in the Cage._ **

**_Why? You hate it in there, alone with everyone else’s thoughts coming in and no peace._ **

**_Because then I wouldn’t have to face the people who betrayed me alone. You are why I am out Dean, why I am willing to even set eyes on them and not bathe in their blood._ **

**_Is it wrong of me to want to help you if it comes to that?_ **

**_Is it right for me to ask that of you?_ **

**_I would if you asked._ **

**_As would I brother as would I._ **

“So Gabriel next, right? ‘Cause I have a bone to pick with the littlest archangel.” Dean tossed out at both of them, one face smirking gleefully, the other, still stuck on confusion melding into resigned pain before starting the cycle again. He wondered why Chuck had thought it would have been easy. Forgiveness will happen eventually but none of them would forget.

 “Now Dean you know he had his reasons for the mystery spot thing, so please don’t kill him.” Lucifer grabbed his arm and batted his lashes at him eyes wide and teary.

“You are a dirty cheater using those eyes on me, and I wasn’t going to kill him, maybe yell and kick him in the jewels though.” He sighed wishing he had some kind of immunity to puppy eyes and tears. Chuck smiled softly behind them, happy that his son had a friend he could rely on.

“Fucking angel being stupidly adorable, Dickhead.” Dean grumbled sulkily, Lucifer still hanging from his arm threw his head back and laughed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me guys, I hope to have Gabriel's chapter up soon. And just FYI, all of the Dean stuff happens in the days that Sam Cas and co couldn't find him.
> 
> Demuel
> 
> PS: I may have based Lucifer's new body on one hell of a hottie. *.*


	8. To Love a Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Sam's redemption and the reunion of Mischief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for being away for so long, but real life decided I must suffer. I was in and out of the hospital with a lung infection. Then my granddad got worse, he had been sick for a while and was beginning to forget who all of us were, he thought we were trying to kill him at one point. He died November 2nd and we buried him on the 20th.  
> Then January was the anniversary of my baby sister's murder and well that screwed with me and I ended up in the hospital again this time with a fluid build up in my lungs.   
> Life can be a total bitch sometimes but I guess we have to deal with it and hope Karma kicks her in the face one day.

“So Gabriel next, right? ‘Cause I have a bone to pick with the littlest archangel.” Dean tossed out at both of them, one face smirking gleefully, the other, still stuck on confusion melding into resigned pain before starting the cycle again. He wondered why Chuck had thought it would have been easy. Forgiveness will happen eventually but none of them would forget.

 “Now Dean you know he had his reasons for the mystery spot thing, so please don’t kill him.” Lucifer grabbed his arm and batted his lashes at him eyes wide and teary.

“You are a dirty cheater using those eyes on me, and I wasn’t going to kill him, maybe yell and kick him in the jewels.” He sighed wishing he had some kind of immunity to puppy eyes and tears. Chuck smiled softly behind them, happy that his son had a friend he could rely on.

“Fucking angel being stupidly adorable, Dickhead.” Dean grumbled, Lucifer still hanging on his arm threw his head back and laughed.

 

*****

 

Charlie just smirked as she applauded slowly, leaning against the door.

“Well done little Seraphim, now why don’t you look a little closer and tell me what you see?” Arms spread wide in invitation and Cas’ blade fell to the floor from shaking hands before his body snapped to attention, eyes wide, mouth closed unable to move an inch. She was careful not to put too much stress on the angel, just enough to keep him still and quiet, after all the angel needed to bear witness to this as well or the one he came here for would try to ignore that it had happened.

“As for you Sam Winchester, its time you faced those hard truths about yourself.” A chair slapped the back of Sam’s knees and he fell into it, leather straps coming up to pin his arms and legs. He wriggled, strained and pulled. Nothing gave, the chair didn’t even skid across the floor.

“Lets start with something you already are aware of. You are in love with Dean Winchester.” Sam glared at her but it was nothing compared to the one she leveled at him, making him shrink back into the seat.

“You know this, Castiel knows this, hell even Singer knows, the only person who doesn’t is Dean himself.” She watched him go red then pale and pale even more. Fucking bastard.

“And did you know why Dean, who is so bloody brilliant, and kind and sweet and just too fucking good for this fucked up world doesn’t know that you love him is not because you can hide it. ‘Cause fuck if you can; why do you think people always mistake you guys for couples in the first place? You light up like a billboard whenever you look at him.” Another chair pops out of nowhere and ‘Charlie’ straddles it silently staring at him with what could only be disgust.

“He doesn’t know because he has no idea what love looks like when aimed at him. Because you and John never once looked at him like that when he was younger, so even when you do now he can’t recognize it. You fucking dark haired Winchester bastards did everything you could to make him feel useless and worthless and less deserving. Sometimes I want to rip you apart slowly, but I can’t, because the sweet man that he is would miss you too much. John significantly less but still.” A pale hand touché his face tucking a strand of hair back.

“Do you understand Winchester? You have broken the only truly good man to have walked the path of the hunter.”

 Sam sat limply in the chair, eyes wet. He knew he loved Dean, and that John had been a terrible father, after he had left the first chance he got and didn’t look back. Eyes on the goal he had set himself, wife kids, white picket fence and the family dog. He never forgot to salt the windows and doors, to always have a knife at hand and always be ready to run if it is too much. But everything else, his brother included was shoved into a dark box and buried.  He had no idea that John would have broken Dean like that. 

 “Even now you refuse to understand. Do you think having someone constantly telling you to be better do better is a good thing? There is nothing worse than being told over and over again that you are good but not good enough.”

 

 *****

 

Gabriel was not pleased, grimacing from his curled position on the floor he tried to breathe without pain. Fucking Winchester. How this asshole could be his brother’s mate was beyond him, maybe Cas needed someone a bit darker to ground him but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Pushing himself to a sitting position he rubbed his still healing wound and glared and the man towering over him.

 “I’ve missed you little brother, loving the new digs.” Grinned the raven haired man who stood protectively in front of the man that had stabbed him with a demon killing blade. And with all the demons it had killed in had become tainted and that burned when its stabbed into grace thank you very much, so pardon him for not getting up and decking the smug bastard, even if the bastard was absolutely delicious. Okay so the dick had called him brother which meant he was either one of the Norse gods who still believed him to be Loki or an angel had wised up and found him. But only three were older than him and the one he wanted it to be the most couldn’t possibly be here could he. Head tilted in confusion his whiskey eyes looked at him with a wrinkle over his nose trying to figure him out. Eyes widening in shock he stood on shaky legs.

 “You always were too adorable for words my little Herald, don’t tell me you don’t remember how much fun we had dying Uriel’s wings plaid. I missed you so much.”

 Gabriel stiffened in the arms that had suddenly surrounded him, but relaxed as he felt a familiar grace brush against his own. Closing his eyes he waited for the dream to end, it always ended when he knew who it was.

“I’ve missed you more than you could believe; I just wish you were really here.” He whispered pulling the angel closer, trying to bury himself in the warmth.

“Open your eyes Gabe, I’m not leaving you again.” Slowly honeyed eyes opened and saw swirling maroon looking down at him with such unrestrained adoration he did the one thing he had wanted to do for millennia but had never gotten the chance to. He dug his fingers into silky black hair and kissed the breathtaking angel in front of him. Ignoring everything but the feel and taste of those perfectly plush lips, growling in need when they parted and let him in, he barely felt the wall he was suddenly against, but he damn sure felt the body his legs wrapped around as it ground up against him.

 Lucifer was dying, he had to be. Because there was no way his sweet herald would be kissing him like he wanted to devour him unless he was dead or dying. Then again not even his most fevered dreams when he had still been in heaven had been this good. He tasted like ambrosia and he could not stop sucking on that impossibly skillful tongue. He barely remembered picking Gabriel up and pinning him to the closet wall. All he remembered was that throaty growl and the feel of those perfect legs wrapped around him. He could not have stopped the first thrust against him even if time and stopped. The second, third and fourth were pure mind numbing pleasure. He had to get closer, more skin less clothes. Now.

 “Ahem, Luc? Would you mind not fucking Gabriel right this second please? I am not sure if Chuck can die but I’m pretty sure he has had at least one heart attack in the last two minutes.”

 Yeah he was definitely not dead, because in no version of this fantasy had Dean Fucking Winchester interrupted them. His head dropped to Gabe’s shoulder, fingers still clenching on those hips that were minutely rocking against him.

“Fuck you Winchester, I’m going stop you every time you get a chance to even touch Castiel you cock blocking son of an asshole.” He mumbled viciously at a grinning Winchester.

A laugh like bells pealed joyously around before being joined by a deeper rumble.

 

The citadel in Heaven stopped, a few blank faced individuals stilled right where they were, unmindful of the chaos erupting around them. Silence. A heartbeat, two. They continued as if nothing had happened. A select group hoping nothing would happen, and one lone face smiled as he tended the garden, knowing everything was about to change. The angels in Heaven and on Earth dismissed the joy of one they had thought lost.

 


	9. Brothers Against Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Michael's story and how Sam's continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's been so long * See chapter 8 notes* I decided to post another one

Ghostly echoes of wings were slumped against a wall, the body attached to them lounging lazily across what could only be described as a giant purple and orange bean bag. Dean blinked just to be sure that he was actually not asleep or hallucinating. Still a giant bean bag with an archangel sprawled on top of it. He snickered knowing there was no way in any plane of existence he was going to let the angel live it down.

 “I should hope that this is a business visit and not pleasure, because having anyone around me for extended periods of time will make me want to pull out my extremely lush and silky hair.” The soothing tenor was clear even with his face half buried.

 “It’s a bit of both actually, personal because I made a promise, which I have now kept and business because well someone had to show up and make sure you told the Fates to go self copulate quite vigorously with _spiny_ cacti.” Sweet mercy, Dean was legitimately going to die, he wheezed as he tried to suck in enough oxygen between his loud barely controllable laughter, he actually fell on the floor, tripping over the sandy blonde already laying there not even trying to breathe. The two were so busy laughing they almost missed the incredulous bespectacled look sent towards the tall dark haired speaker.

 The figure lounging on the bean bag promptly fell off in surprise, not even registering the two hyenas choking on his floor. Standing in a daze he walked forward fingers reaching out only to pull back and race forward again. The sound of glass cracking and a nose being broken silenced everyone.  Dean looked up seeing blood and bits of what remained of glasses slowly dripping onto Chuck’s shirt.  Gabriel sitting up on the floor next to him just blinked, while Lucifer, well he just looked smug and didn’t even try to stop Michael as he punched their father again.

 “You complete and utter bastard!” A fist ground in Chuck’s stomach bending him in half,

“After everything you’ve caused with your ridiculous manipulative games.” A harsh blow to the chin snapping his head back and straightening his spine with a sharp crack.

“You have the nerve to just show up when you made me betray my brothers? Had me hurt them? Stood by while I was forced to tell them they were nothing and to leave our home and never return?” Every question was another blow until he was kneeling above a bloody and bruised Chuck who had yet to make a sound.

“Do you have any idea how much it hurt watching one brother be pushed out and fall, and my baby brother look at me in fear and run, like I was a monster that would turn on him too? I had to live with that, and even though it hurt, fucking killed me inside; I soldiered on because you said I should. And then you just left, no warning, no note; just gone.” Slowly as if the world itself were pulling at him, wings drooping practically sweeping the floor, he stood and turned to face his brothers for the first time in millennia.

 “I’m sorry you had to see that, but I may have a bit of an issue with my father.” Dean looked at the mass of what were probably going to be spectacular bruises that were Chuck, and back at Michael.

“You know the fact that you kicked the shit literally and figuratively; on an emotional stand point; out of God, should probably be an issue but I find myself strangely not caring that much.”

 “And this has nothing to do with John Winchester.” Oh sarcasm you beautiful creature, thy name should have been Lucifer. He was not going to even think about that right now or ever.

Pulling himself to his feet he blatantly ignored the happy reunion happening to take a look at where the first archangel had been moping and choked after reading the spines of the books on one shelf.

“Sweet unholy archangel threesome, Michael you wrote the Karma Sutra and Tantric Sex manuals?!” He was shouting, possibly bouncing in place and overall acting like a teenager at his first rave.

Michael just looked at him curiously; Gabriel was gaping at Michael like he had grown a second head and Lucifer well he was looking a bit too thoughtful as he switched between staring at both his brothers.

 

*****

“ So Sam Winchester, what do you have to say for yourself?” The silence that met her was irksome to say the least.

“Still not convince to apologize yet huh? Oh well I can tell you about all your failings as a brother and potential soulmate but where is the fun in that? Lets just jog your memory a bit hmm?” A devilish smile curve that soft mouth and Sam slumped in the chair, eyes wide and unblinking, memories he had tossed aside as unimportant rushing to the forefront, making him question everything he had known about himself. 

_Dean had driven them to school because once again John Winchester was a no show. But for some reason Dean had only signed him up for classes and the principal was looking at Dean with a weird expression._

_“Are you not going to school here with me Dean?” a large hand reached out ruffling his hair and staying on his head._

_“Nah, Sammy I’m done with high school. It’s not that interesting for me, but I know you practically would live here if you could.” He pushed the hand off him, face red in embarrassed anger._

_“Guess you really are an idiot if you can’t even manage the last year of high school. Drop out then see if I care.” He turned and slammed the door behind him ignoring the surprised look on Principal Lee’s face and the hurt flashing across Dean’s._

_“What does your brother mean about dropping out? Is he not aware that you graduated two years ago and are in college?”_

_“No he isn’t Mr Lee and judging by that reaction I doubt I can tell him like I had planned to. Thank you for allowing me to use your school to finish my Masters.”_

_“It was an honor to have the talk of the academic world here Mr Winchester.”_

_****_

_“My god can you be any more of an idiot Dean?! Do you really think that getting a job can help? Its not like you really qualify for it either what with you dropping out of high school and all.” Sam had grinned at the end pretending he had not seen Dean’s potential employer listening before he left the diner booth and sat in the car waiting for the man to tell Dean to take off, then he could tutor those kids from class and finally have something to hold over him._

_“High School drop out? I’m pretty sure your brother is delusional, I taught you at MIT myself Dean. Have you considered getting the kid help?” Dr Tanner sat across from Dean putting the final signature on the patent. It was bloody brilliant if he said so himself about his favorite student._

_“Nah, he just kept getting told he was the brains of the family, so no matter how many people disagree he never really listens.”_

_“I have the number of a good therapist if you need it?”_

_“Dr Ruthers? Ooh she was my psychology professor when I was at Yale. She knows about him, said one day someone will knock some sense into him or she might have to find a high enough stepladder so she can do it herself.”_

_Dr Tanner laughed as Dean realizing what he said blushed a bright red before taking the card and leaving, only to slow and slump when he saw a smugly smirking Sam watching._

Sam did not feel the tears falling down his face nor see the glare sent at Cas who had moved to comfort him.

“I know he is the third in your Triad mate-ship but he must come to terms with how much he hurt the one he claims to love. Even now he fights it, tries to justify it. If you or Dean coddle him and try to make him feel like it was not his fault he will do this again and I doubt the bond would survive another blow.”

Wide blue eyes stared stunned at the creature before him wearing the face of Dean’s friend. A slow smile and wink was the response given to his unasked question.

Please come back home soon Dean, I cannot do this alone.


	10. Getting better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but this is not an update.

Okay... I have not updated this in a long while. And my other story Echoes of the Heart got a chapter I had prewritten. And you all deserve to know why.  
My muse left which is the little reason.  
And I found out I might have a brain tumor. So far the doctor says it looks clear but with the black outs, nose bleeds and blinding migraines if it isn't a tumor... I'm screwed.   
But I digress, my muse is coming back slowly so I will try to update but as you can tell as much as I want to ignore it, my health comes first. Thanks for the continued support guys/girls/people. Yeah people, let's keep it gender neutral.

Recovering  
Demuel

**Author's Note:**

> So my first ever publicly posted work. Never was much of a Wincest fan *Destiel is the way to go* But a certain fanfic blew my mind. So thank you "Sure Got a Dirty Mouth" by JustineDelarge for making me realize how unbelievable hot it could be.  
> Comments are welcome


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